Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Great Europe Excursion Part One

Yeah well that flight sucks. I really can't get across how much that flight sucks. 3.5 hours from auckland to Sydney Australia, then 2 hours wait there. 14 hours Sydney to Dubai, then 4 hours wait there. Finally 7 hours Dubai to London for a quote total of 30.5 fuck off hours of which I probably actually slept about 3. Whoo!!

Anyway, since I just woke up from a 13 hour sleep from my first night in lovely Battersea London (just around the road from some lovely street gangs and hovels apparently according to Nicole :P) this first part will not contain that much actual excitement. It's just laying the foundations if you will for all the excitement to come.

Well, Dubai airport was pretty huge, and pretty goddamn expensive looking. Basically it looked like the god of consumerism and materialism had a giant wank and splooged the airport all over the place. However, I kind of liked it. That might be the 14 hour flight beforehand talking, but maybe even I have a certain fondness for over excessive shiny flatulence. I also continued my McDonalds world tour that I began when I was last in Europe 3 years ago (ate the golden arches in London, Germany, Ireland, Czech Republic, Austria and Slovakia then :P) by adding Dubai to the list. Dubai Mcdonalds impressed me greatly, instantly rocketting into the top 3 international McDonalds I have ever tasted :P

So basically, the flight sucked, and I almost died. Today I am going to Borough markets or words to that effect, where I will likely be exposed to Nicole's fiendish shopping antics and the rest of me will be finished off. Hopefully you'll see a part two... if not, you'll know what's happened. :P

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Love children.

Love Child Number One:

Juelles Chester
Can we name our love child Dreamz? You know what I'm talking about.



Scott Lovesy You give me a love child and believe me, you can name it whatever you see fit ;)

Juelles Chester I'm just kidding, he was already born and I already named him Dreamz.

Scott Lovesy Two questions... one... does he have to have the 'z' on the end?? ;) And two... does he have my eyes?? If not, I'm going to require another one.

Juelles Chester I am truly disappointed you would even inquire about the "z". Yes, that's what's going to make our son stand out. He doesnt have your eyes but he does have your wicked sense of humor and a baffling obsession with watching trashy reality shows about people stuck on islands and such.


Scott Lovesy As long as he doesn't inherit his mother's Jersey Shore obsession... I'm down. ;)


Juelles Chester Oh no you diiiin't!!!!! Gee whiz.


Scott Lovesy Uh oh... now you're going to increase demands for child support ;)

Love Child Number Two:

Scott Lovesy
Can we name our other love child that you left over here with me 'The Little Situation'?? You know what I'm talking about.

Scott Lovesy I just want to take him to a ball game, let him get lost so that the ground announcer has to say "I've got a little situation up here".

Juelles Chester Not gonna lie, I totally laughed my ass off at that last sentence. I can't believe you guys even have TV over on that island.

Juelles Chester My father is going to read that post and call me in five minutes to say .. WHATS THIS SITUATION ?!

Scott Lovesy It's a little situation ;)

Scott Lovesy Oh God Yes... someone frame this comment thread for future reference!!

Juelles Chester In addition I'm mildly horrified that you've had him over there for so long and still havent given him a name. Typical Kiwis!!!!

Scott Lovesy Well to be honest most of the time I have him up in the attic and I kind of forget he's there. I do feed him a bowl of fish heads once a week though.

Juelles Chester Haaaahhhhhahahahahahaha, you are so awesome. I'm really happy I know you.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Pop Tart Cat: A Philosophical Discourse

First... watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yJgwwDcgV8

ALL OF IT. TWICE. Now return to me.

The constant movement of the Nyan Cat through space represents the futility of the human endeavour. Ever onwards we progress, yet seem to only find the same poorly rendered CGI life experiences as before. The rainbow trailing behind represe...nts our hope, and the fact that our nostalgia is always making our past experiences appear better and brighter than they were as we plow onwards into the nothingness ahead. The Poptart represents our inner need for spiritual sustinence. There is a part of us that longs to sup delicately at a spiritual body that nurtures us, and sets us free from this languid myopia. The cat is our inner feline... always curious, yet never knowing what the fuck is truly going on.

Finally, The constant accelerated repeating of 'Nyan' sounds is reminscent of the level of discourse that society operates on, so many words being shot out into space from all over the planet, yet all saying the same thing... 'Nyan' which is actually ancient Judaic script for 'Nothing'.

Ask and You Shall...

Ask and you shall who fucking knows.

From my experience you probably have somewhat of a higher chance of adding the word 'receive' to the end of that sentence. Although not much of a higher chance. However being a) good looking, b) comformist or c) having a nice fake smile and some store bought charm and social skills probably helps. Doing things spontaneously for others doesn't. Trust me. :P

However, don't ask and you're pretty hosed. Trust me I know. The last time someone did something spontaneously I was probably a developing zygote being fed juicy goodness through the umbilical cord. I don't remember asking for that you see. Although it's possible that I may have and just not remember it. What's the moral of this story? Noone gives a fuck, and it might be a good idea to stop pretending that they do.

Jeez I hope nobody reads this.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Many Thank Yous

Okay bear with me guys, this one will be somewhat long and involved. Do you know the single number one thing that people in this world do not do enough of? Tell people in their life that they are awesome. There needs to be more of this... and so I'm starting a trend. In the dark hours of my sickness and sadness, I am writing this to make myself and hopefully others feel better :)

First and foremost... I want ZERO attention paid to the order of the names. If you know me well you should know that ranking people in any way, shape, or form is not something that I believe in. And second of all, if you read this and talk to me, I want you to only comment on YOUR entry and not the entries I have given to others. Cause if you ask about any one but your own... I ain't going to elucidate :P So without further ado... here is my list of thank yous. And just cause this thought popped into my head, just because I'm doing this doesnt mean I'm going anywhere or changing anything in my life!! You still have to put up with my useless ass!! :P And please note, that I am mostly including only those who I know have a good chance of reading this. Hang not your head in shame if you are not mentioned, because I do love you too. Bank on it.

David Stewart: For being the aptly named Rock for so many years. For being someone I always could have the faith would be consistent, unwavering and still right there with me if we hadnt seen each other or talked for one day, one month, one year or one century. For putting up with my weird ass crap on a regular basis. For being awesome, and treating me the same every day when I needed consistency the most.

Ashleigh Stewart: For giving me the regard, the time and the awe inspiring care and trust that I never dreamt I would receive. For letting me help, and for making me feel like my presence meant something. For being perhaps the only one on this list that I know I dont have to write anything about here and they would still know everything I could ever say to them and have it not be a surprise.

Nicole Lovesy: For making me feel like the fact that we both have the same last name doesn't matter at all and that we would be best friends regardless. For all the effort you put into understanding my weird ways and for the amazing job you have done in accepting everything I say or do. For the times I could forget everything and just laugh mindlessly at random crap. Living in this mind is a 24/7 job, thanks for blowing the horn and giving me my breaks.

Ben Lawrence: For defining what it is that a friend should be, even when I was an ass and not knowing what the hell I was doing. For being the well needed other dimension to me for so many years, for your involvement in being there and helping create some of the best times of my life, don't think I don't know, remember or appreciate every last one. And of course, for agreeing with me on the grand percentage of my philosophical positions... that always helps endear me to someone :P

Ben Cook: For taking the piss out of me on a regular basis!!! haha That is only half kidding. But seriously, for being perhaps the only one who has been there or thereabouts consistently for 10 years now without any lapses, fights or breaks. It takes someone special to put up with my ass for that long. Keep hammering me buddy... you know I need it... otherwise I might start taking myself seriously ;)

Lisa Couzens: For being the beautiful, genuine person that you are. For being the first 'real' girl to give me regard, kindness and value me as a person way back when, I won't forget it. For the gift of knowing that you'll always be there and that distance or time doesn't matter... although I'm working on it ;)

Kathryn Oliver: For keeping me on my toes and giving me a challenge!! No seriously, for giving me the gift unparalleled of forgiving my transgressions and stupidity and for somehow still thinking of me as an awesome, worthwhile person through it all. For knowing where I'm coming from, and for always seeing the good in me. For that smile that you gave me everytime that couldn't help but make me feel that in your eyes I was not little old me but some Greek god or something everytime you saw me. I should pay you money for that or something, but I'd be broke in two weeks. :P

Emma Wilkin: In a way, nobody put up with more crap out of me than you! Thank you for making my uni years the best ones of my life, and for being the more beautiful, less awkward half of our invincible two man team, dont worry, even though you said you do, you don't owe me half of your degree ;). For your unforgettable presence, friendship and perhaps the enduring of more hours with me than anyone else. There is always an Emma shaped room in my heart.

Troy Nuske: For being Australian, and still being cool. What a monumental achievement that is!! For having the best taste in music of anyone I've ever met. For when I met you for the first time and felt like I had been friends with you my whole life. For giving me a place to go to whenever I'm in Sydney... for being awesome.

Michelle Nuske: For being Troy's infinitely better half. :) For trusting me enough to tell me things I doubt other people would... you know what I'm talking about here haha ;) For giving me the same feeling as Troy did, the feeling that I had known you all my life, when I was just meeting you for the first time. I honestly want the South Sydney Rabbitohs to win a premiership before my Warriors, because I care and wish you all the happiness in the world.

Mum: Mum I know you will somehow find a way to read this, because you're always stalking my online activities :P Relax, I'm kidding. Thank you for everything. You know I wouldn't even have a list of people to thank if it werent for you, and that gives you the biggest thanks of all.

And to all my new and old friends not mentioned here, who are just coming into the minefield of my life. You go here, because I've got to give you guys something to aim for... graduating into the main list!! The rest of my family at home or abroad. My friends from overseas, in particular Gillian and Juelles; who remind me that I really have more beautiful women in my life than I can shake a stick at. All my friends from high school and uni. My work family Nitin and Nikita, and my surrogate brother and sister and also my favourite students Pooja and Bhavin. You all are the sine qua non of my existence. Seriously... go look it up.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Grab Bag of Self Refuting Bullcrap

I read this online and loved every single bit of it. Enjoy it for me too.

A “Grab Bag” of Self-Refuting Positions

by Talk|ThinkingMatters.org.nz on January 30, 2010

In his Introduction to Logic, Harry Gensler defines a self-refuting statement as “[A] statement that makes negative claims so sweeping that it ends up denying itself.” [1] In other words, it results when an argument or position is undercut by its own criteria (An example of this would be saying, “I cannot speak a word of English” in English). Off the top of my head and in no particular order, here’s a grab-bag of several self-refuting positions which I’ve documented over the years:

1. Truth does not exist (Is that a true statement?)
2. Nothing is absolute (Is that absolutely true?)
3. I do not exist (You must exist to deny that you exist)
4. Science is the only way to know (Can you scientifically prove that?)
5. Only what can be perceived by the five senses exists (Can you prove that by the five senses?)
6. Nobody can know anything for sure (Do you know that for sure?)
7. Nobody can know anything about God (How do you know that?)
8. Talk about God is meaningless (Since it is a statement about God, this statement is meaningless too)
9. Reality is just your interpretation, objective reality does not exist (That’s just your interpretation)
10. “‘Everything we think and do is the function of our genes/nervous system’”: Is this belief itself just the result of genetic/neutral activity? If so, why trust it — or any belief we have? If your belief happens to be right, it’s just by accident”
11. There are no beliefs (You expect me to believe that?)
12. Everything is meaningless (So is that statement)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Utter science/media fail hilarity




HAHAHAHAHAHA. It's funny because it's true. :P